Pure Yellow
Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. ~C. S. Lewis
Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~Dorothy Bernard
http://youtu.be/bgiQD56eWDk Here Comes the Sun~The Beatles
http://youtu.be/iYuyar-rrNY Yellow~Coldplay
http://youtu.be/qzZiDGmr9F8 Free Fallin’~Tom Petty
Today was a yellow day. Perfectly — brilliantly yellow! Good doesn’t begin to adequately describe it, and I felt good living it, and being aware of every moment of it. You might be wondering what I’m talking about, and I shall tell you: today, Tom and I celebrate a friend who crossed the first item off of her bucket list of things she wants to do as she begins a new phase in the journey of her life.
To give you the back story so you’re up to speed: three weeks ago, my friend, Stephanie, was given a shitty diagnosis of terminal and inoperable cancer. Stage IV Neuroendocrine Cancer, with a metastasis to the liver to boot. Yeah. It was a sucker punch [not to mention that it just plain sucked!] – one of those ones that hits you right in the gut, dead-center, and doubles you over....leaves you bent down for a while too as you try to catch your breath!
Stephanie is only 50. She’s got a 10 year old son, and last summer, another son made her a grandmother for the 1st time. You can understand now why I referenced the diagnosis as “shitty”. The following day, the oncologist didn’t make that suck-ass news any better when he told her there wasn’t much they could do for her at this point. I mean, what are you suppose to do with that? You’re trying to gear-up mentally for the fight of your life, when the doctor cancels that game plan. It was sobering. Surreal. The entire weekend went back and forth like that — kinda like a see-saw. Up and down the emotions went. Back and forth the tears came. I can only imagine what she must have been feeling!? No. Scratch that. I can’t. I tried, but I can’t. I hurt for her, and I was scared for her, like any friend would be. I prayed a lot over the next few days because I believe in the power of prayer, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t ask for a miracle for her. I’m not gullible! Let me state that for the record. But, I’m a realist! I prescribe to the philosophy of Anwar Sadat who once said, “you aren’t a realist unless you believe in miracles...” I do. So, I asked God for one for her. Asking for something can NEVER hurt! EVER!
Anyway. Stephanie is a rare one. She’s not going to roll over! She’s not going to go quietly! Those were her words. If this were a boxing match, I daresay it’s gonna be similar to the “Thrilla in Manilla” of 1975 between Ali and Frazier. What I know of Stephanie, she gives as good as she gets...so, in other words, this isn’t going to be an easy fight for cancer! Here’s a link if you’d like to check out the reference:
http://boxrec.com/media/index.php/Muhammad_Ali_vs._Joe_Frazier_(3rd_meeting)
Once she got her bearings back, she stated as much herself. This cancer may have altered the overall scheme of things for her long-term plans, but she’s in the driver’s seat til the end of the road. She wants to do as much as she can with the rest of her life, while she can – make some special memories for her children, and do those things that she thought she had more time left to do. Again, her words. She is an inspiration. That’s all I can say, and she has inspired me with the grace in which she's handled it all.
The Sunday following her diagnosis, she sat down and wrote up a fund-me page, because she’s a single Mom, and this diagnosis blind-sided her – the rest of us too. She needs a little financial help to make this dream become a reality. Dreams aren’t cheap! Not the good ones, anyway! :-) {I’ll post her fund-me page at the end of this entry.} If you want to donate a love offering, we “ain’t to proud to beg,” to help make this dream of hers come true. She wants to do as much as she can, while she can. Did I say that already? Well, it bears repeating. The time is now! That’s a lesson for ALL of us: live now! Don’t wait! None of us are promised tomorrow. No one knows what the future will or won’t bring us, so live now with NO regrets! Those of you who know me know that, while I can be shy about asking for anything for myself, when it comes to my friends, I’m like a bull in a china shop! There’s not a shy bone in my body, when it comes to asking for someone else! Every $5 makes a difference and adds up! If you can forgo a cup of store-bought Java for one day or a burger and fries and maybe donate $5 toward helping someone make some memories with their child become a reality, which one would REALLY make you feel better at the end of the day? That’s all I’m saying...
Now, the first thing on Stephanie’s list of things to do was skydiving or in the language of a person afraid of heights, as I am: “ Oh my God! She’s ACTUALLY going to jump out of a plane at 14,000 feet above the earth!” WHAT the hell is she thinking?
Brave. I give her credit. When she wrote on Facebook that she was going to do it, one image came to mind: Luke and Laura in the ‘93 return on General Hospital where Laura froze when she saw how high up they were and that Luke seriously wanted her to jump out into nothing but sky with NO net below her. She became to scream – panic screams, and the only way he could get her to jump was to toss her purse out the door that had most of her important worldly possessions in it. {it’s on YouTube if anyone wants to see it.} I think in that moment, I might be willing to even let go of my worldly possessions! [I hear you all calling me a chicken!] Okay, I’ll cop to that!
Truthfully, I think the ONLY way that I would go out of a plane at 14,000 feet is for someone to open the door and literally kick me out, even with my hands white-knuckled, holding onto the door jamb with EVERYTHING in me, but that’s me. Stephanie, on the other hand, will go out full-force – just taking it all on. I admire her fortitude. She invited her friends and family to join her for this adventure. I PM’ed her and told her that I’d be there in spirit, and would release a yellow balloon in solidarity. So, now, you’re up to speed.
Friday, Stephanie left for Homestead, Florida with her youngest son. Tom and I went out and got our yellow smiley face balloons that afternoon, after he got home from work. We were ready for the big day. Stephanie sent us all a message pertaining to Saturday: 10 a.m.~lift off. She felt a mix of terrified excitement. I understood that. I felt a mix of terrified excitement for her! So, I set the alarm and waited for the sun to come up.
I got up early. It looked like a beautiful day at our end. From hers, she reported early morning rain.
“Please, God!” I whispered, as I read that! “Don’t let anything spoil this moment.”
I did the only thing I knew to do. I sent out a song: “Here Comes the Sun.”
It did the trick. The Beatles usually do! :-)
Not long after, she posted that she was on her way to the airport.
I leaned my head back and mouthed upward, “thank you!”
We waited for a bit longer for word that it was all a go. Pictures were posted from the airport. Stephanie rocked the look! Let me tell you! I told her as much in a post.
Tom and I got our balloons and went out on our back deck as the music played: “Yellow” and “Free Fallin’”. I took several pictures as we got ready to release our contribution to her moment. We held hands as we counted down, then let them go and watched as they drifted higher and higher up into the blue, as the music played in the background. It was a wonderful sight knowing that she was up there, and they were heading up to her! We watched until they disappeared from our view, then we went back inside, feeling a full gratitude moment.
I carried that image with me the rest of the day – those two balloons, side-by-side, floating up, up and away into the wild blue yonder up to our friend. Later, I laughed, and cheered as I watched the image of her jumping toward earth, checking off the first item on a special “to do” list. It was emotional. I can only imagine the incredible feeling it must have been for her, as she sailed across the sky like a bird in high flight!
Stephanie, along with family and friends who are down in Homestead with her are having a fish fry tonight – making some special memories. I told her Tom and I were going for ice-cream to top off the day’s celebration, just like Chris Martin said to the audience before he sang “Yellow” to them. And, so we did. It was a popular night to go for ice-cream too! By the time we got home, night was overtaking the sky. I looked up and saw my father’s star, right beside the moon. It’s not out every night. But, I know he had to come out and give a two thumbs up for the day’s events, because he enjoyed “WOW” moments as much as the next guy, and today truly was one of those! It was WOW and yellow all rolled up into one magnificent thing. Pure yellow – NO other words.
I smiled as Tom and I walked to the side door. We could hear the puppies barking their heads off as if we’d been gone for a week! As we opened the door, they ran around in a crazy giddiness because we were back where we belonged, and all was right in their world. Tom and I said some silly greetings to them, and they took off in play as I chuckled to myself and turned to close the door. I thought about that sentiment for a moment: all’s right in the world. On this day, it was! From the window of the door, I could see the moon high up in the sky. As if sensing the importance of keeping with the day’s theme, it was yellow. Not just ANY yellow though, a deep golden one. I smiled and thought of Stephanie: Golden. Yellow. Brave. Bodacious. Beautiful. Loved. Yeah....that’s what it had all been. But, most of all: AMAZING!
Upward and onward, as they say. On we go. There are more adventures and memories to be made...
http://youtu.be/ddEV13ekyOU Stephanie's jump - May 4, 2014
http://youtu.be/T3JzcCviNDk It Is Always Now~Sam Harris
http://www.gofundme.com/8hduh4 - Stephanie’s Fund Me Page
