"If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle." ~Vincent Van Gogh
http://youtu.be/L4kFFMdVjl0 God Danced The Day You Were Born~Hot Soup
I’ve only known that feeling a very few times in my life. It's a special experience. Dakota’s birth was one of them. I’ll never forget the day his mother told me she was pregnant. Her husband of three months was squeamish when it came to matters of blood and whatnot, and I was her best girlfriend so, she delivered the news in one HUGE moment by telling me about her pregnancy and informing me of my nomination by both her and her husband that I should be her birth coach. It was an honor. I didn’t hesitate for a moment in saying yes, that I would gladly do it.
"Don’t answer so quickly," she said with caution. "He’s due around Christmas, and it’ll mean that you’ve got to be on call 24-7 - no going out of town."
I took hold of her hands and looked her in the eyes, still holding firm to my decision, "I’m in!"
This was during the period in my life when I worked at the hotel in Rockville, Maryland. I started out as Sales Coordinator and eventually worked my way up to its Director of Sales. Rosemary was the Reservations Manager. We worked very closely together and thereafter, upon an auspicious meeting, our friendship blossomed.
It was an interesting time for me - going through that pregnancy with her. God knew then, unbeknownst to me, that I would not get to experience all the phases of my pregnancies, so he gave me the gift of Rosemary’s to go through-experience-relish. I got to experience and witness all aspects of the experience without having the pain of delivering the baby. It's more than some adoptive mothers get to be a part of. I was grateful to be asked to do it. If I had to rate it as a ride at Disney World, I’d give that experience a solid 55 out of a high score of 10. It was an unbelievable experience! It was a true "WOW" moment!
I think Rosemary wanted me to do it because she knew that I had mother hen tendencies [in a good way], and I would make certain that she was eating right and taking her vitamins - reminding her of all the things that can be overwhelming when you’re pregnant and have so much to do to take care of yourself, let alone someone else you’re carrying inside and a few others around you to boot. When you're always putting yourself last on the list in "taking care of" order, it's wise to have someone in your corner who will put you on the list first. She knew she could count on me for that, and she needed someone to do that for her in that particular moment in her life.
What can I say? I’m a good nurturer. It's one of my assests. I come from a solid line of good nurturers, and when you’re pregnant, you need someone who’s willing to do that for you, while you’re busy taking care of all your other responsibilities.
Rosemary came from Italian stock; she had a very strong-willed, determined mother who imprinted solidly upon her. I come from southern stock; I have a very strong-willed, determined mother and grandmother who came before me, and who imprinted just as solidly upon me. If we had been playing sports against the other, I’d say it was an odds on bet that either of us could be the one favored to win. It was just that close in the strong-willed, determined department.
Rosemary could be just as stubborn as me when she believed strongly enough about something. She wasn't too stubborn with me during her pregnancy however. During that time, I won those battles wills [for lack of a better word], because she knew I was looking out for not only her best interests but the babies too, and she appreciated it. It's why she asked me to be her birth coach.
Case in point: Rosemary wasn’t a big eater [although her lasagna could make a grown man cry tears of joy, but that’s a story for another day.], She didn’t do breakfast, she didn’t snack much.....I KNOW....I don’t get people who pass up golden opportunities to eat when the rule of thumb calls for you to eat, but that’s just me!
Anyway, I made some homemade granola one day and took an apple and a container of vanilla yogurt into work for her breakfast. [For those of you who are new to the blog, I had a catering business in a past life....] Anyway, I got into work early and went over to the restaurant inside the hotel, taking a tray and adding a glass of juice and a bowl, with napkin and silverware to fix her a "lite" but healthy/nutritious breakfast.
I’ll never forget the look on her face the first time I did this. I placed the tray down on her desk. She looked it over then up at me. She smiled appreciatively and politely noted. "I don’t eat breakfast."
I smiled politely back. "You do now," I informed.
"I'm not crazy about granola or yogurt."
"It’s not for you! It’s for the little one inside you who’s probably starving," I told her, then said something she always said to me when she brought something in for me to try. "Mange!"
She took a bite of the yogurt with the homemade granola [oats, assorted nuts, golden raisins, and a few other dried fruits]. "It’s not bad," she admitted.
I smiled. "See what happens when you open-mindedly try something," I replied. "You like it!"
She chewed crunchily on a bite. "I wouldn’t go that far, but it's not bad," she replied, looking back at me quizically. "Is this going to be a daily habit?"
"Are you planning on having the baby right now?"
She gave me a funny look. "No!" she said, rolling her eyes and laughing. "You nut!"
I nodded my acceptance. "Then, I guess it’s going to be a daily habit."
As I turned to leave her office and go back downstairs to mine, she called to me. "JhillyBean!"
I turned to look at her.
"Yeah?"
She smiled, taking another bite. "Thanks."
I smiled back. "Don’t mention it!" I said, then reminded. "I’ll be back at three with a fruit parfait."
She groaned, but, silently, I think she liked it – appreciated it. I was living up to expectation. She knew when she asked me to be her birth coach that I would take it very seriously – as seriously as I would take the pregnancy being my own. I think she knew that I would make sure she was fed, because that wasn’t something normally high on her list of things to take care of. A cup of coffee and she was good to go. Not in my book. Not on my watch. Not with my nephew on board....
For months, I watched as she grew ripe and full of baby. It was a beautiful sight.
We had a coffee machine in the sales department. I had housekeeping move a small refrigerator in there too, where I kept yogurt, fruits, juices, etc. I’ll never forget one morning, she had to have been a good six months pregnant, her coming into the office to make herself a cup of tea. She stopped at my desk and I put my hands on either side of the growing ball she had pushing out from her stomach and began to talk to it. This humored her.
Imran, a friend and Sales Manger walked out from his office, looked at us both and said, "Jhill!’ in his voice thick with a Pakistani accent, which sounded more British to me. "What are you doing?"
"I’m talking to my nephew!" I said completely unembarrassed by my gesture. "What does it look like I’m doing?"
Rosemary shook her head at Imran [we were all good friends] and pointed at me. "She and Lewie have a bet over whose voice the baby will recognize first."
Imran laughed. "This kid is going to be spoiled rotten!"
"Oh hush!" I waived him off. "He’s going to be loved abundantly!" I disagreed. "There’s a difference!"
"What is it?" he inquired, challenging the point. "Tell me the difference."
I laughed. "Why don’t you make yourself useful and go sell something!" I chimed back.
We all laughed.
Imran had just become a father himself. "I don’t recall you going to this extent for me," he noted.
I smiled sweetly. "You didn’t ask me to be your wife’s birth coach!"
He had no comeback reply for that one, so he went out on sales calls. Still, he remembered the love overflowing from us all when his daughter, Azzah, had been born. We teased and played all in good fun, but we were considered by the rest of the hotel staff to be the three musketeers: Rosemary, Imran and me. Those were good times....working at the hotel with those two.
Of course, I gave Rosemary her baby shower. It was a wonderful Saturday in the fall, and I remember everyone telling me that I should open a catering business, because the food was good as were the decorations and party favors. They all thought others should get the chance to experience my In Good Taste flair as they had.
Having run a catering business in Florida, I knew it wasn’t something I could do alone in Maryland, although I did love and enjoy doing it. Catering is HARD work. But, the comments and thoughts pleased me. It was a wonderful day, and I could see that Rosemary was overwhelmed by the love and well-wishes that came to her that day from so many people.
I gave her an antique rocking chair – an old Bostonian style one that I’d found in an antique store. She hugged me BIG when I gave it to her. I also made things for the baby as well: two lamps and I crocheted his baby blanket out of yarn she had picked. The love was overflowing that day with gifts and more gifts. When Lewie came to pick her up, he seemed impressed by the "haul". It had been another good day.
We were counting them down until the BIG one arrived.
During the autumn months we took the Lamaze classes. It was all so interesting and fascinating to learn about and listen to how the baby grows and develops through each stage of the pregnancy. The chemical changes that occur in the body, which starts each chemical-chain reaction for one thing or another to start growing-formulating-developing....how every detail of development going on within a fetus is timed down with the precision of a second-hand clock was nothing short of amazing. Did I say it was a miracle already? It truly is....I don’t think people realize how truly miraculous it is for a baby to be born perfect - with all 10 fingers and all 10 toes intact as well as everything else. There are so many things that go on in a woman’s body, especially when she's pregnant, that are dependent upon the chemicals releasing at just the right time to make it all happen smoothly with no glitches. The developmental process occurs with a military precision that would make the military sit up and take note. I learned so much in those classes.
I was the one who took the book from class and packed the overnight bag. I kept it in my car at all times, so we were ready to go when our little Man decided to make his grand entrance.
This baby reminded me a LOT of my father: he did things on HIS timetable – when he was ready, and not one minute before! In other words, he was late for his due date. I spent the night with Dakota’s parents on Christmas Eve that year. It was an unusual Christmas Eve, but one that I enjoyed nonetheless. My family was going down to Richmond, and I couldn’t risk her going into labor, and not being readily available, so I stayed with them at their condo that year.
We watched Christmas movies, exchanged gifts, ordered in pizza and just hung out. We shared a couple of stories about our past Christmases. Rosemary’s heritage was Italian, and I asked her about the Feast of the Seven Fishes. It was interesting. I learned something new that night, because I’d never heard the details of that tradition before. We had a great time as we continued our vigil.
I remember calling my family and telling them to have safe travels to Richmond the following morning. I fixed my bed on the sofa and slept beneath the lights of their Christmas tree. I remember staring at it – those lights and thinking about what the holiday truly meant. I can’t describe it other than to say that the thoughts and feelings were very profound, and my heart was full of joy knowing that soon, our little Man would be taking his place in the world. The thought made bringing a child into the world so much more special having it happen during the holy season.
Christmas came and went with no appearance. We went back to work. [Rose worked up until the time she delivered.] Everyone laughed that this kid just didn’t want to come out and meet everyone! So, we waited and waited and waited some more. Lewie gave me a pager so that they could beep me at anytime if I was out doing errands, on Sales calls or if it was the middle of the night "our little Man" decided he would come out to play. At that time, I lived in my parent’s basement apartment, but we shared the phone. Rosemary and Lewie didn’t want to disturb my parents in the middle of night, if little man decided he was ready to come out and join the party between the hours of midnight to six a.m.
At lunchtime, on December 29th, we walked the floors of the hotel. Rosemary’s doctor said that walking might help induce labor. After work, Rosemary and Lewie went over to Lakeforest Mall and walked for about an hour more. I think the walking did the trick.
At 2:30 a.m.; the beeper went off just as my mother came running down the basement stairs. Apparently, in his excitement over Rosemary’s water breaking, Lewie called the house first THEN called the pager. My heart began to race.
"I’ll meet you guys there within the hour," I said excitedly.
"Great! Yeah! Great!" he replied, too excited to really hear me.
There was a pause, then I heard Rosemary’s voice. She was calm. "Be careful driving over. We’ll see you soon. Don’t rush! We’ve got lots of time!"
"Tell Lewie to be careful!" I replied, noting how calm she sounded but knowing that Lewie was in a mini tailspin. "He’s carrying precious cargo!"
"I’ll tell him," she told me.
"See you guys soon," I replied. "Love you!"
I could hear a smile in her voice. "Love you back!"
I remember turning off the phone and sitting in my bed for a minute, inhaling four-exhaling eight, which is a yoga technique for centering oneself. I did it three times to calm myself because I knew Rosemary didn’t need her husband and best friend both off the hook.
My mother made me a cup of coffee and slice of cinnamon toast, because we didn’t know how long the labor would last. In the Lamaze classes, we heard tales of eight hours up to two days. I couldn’t imagine two days.....Mom kissed my cheek as she headed back to bed.
"Call me when he arrives and let me know how everyone is doing," she told me.
I nodded that I would.
Quickly, I went and washed my face then got dressed in the comfortable clothes that had been laying across the chair in my bedroom for a couple of weeks waiting for just this moment.
I grabbed my purse and the car keys and headed upstairs to grab a packet of crackers, if I needed them for later.
When I got to the hospital, things were moving quickly on the maternity ward. Hustle and bustle quick.
Rosemary looked pale when I walked into her room. I looked around but didn’t see Lewie there.
I put the overnight bag down and went to the bed, reaching for her hand.
"Where’s Lew?"
"He went to get some ice chips."
"How are you feeling?" I asked, pulling the chair closer with my free hand so that I could sit down.
"JhillyBean," she said, letting me see her concern. "If I’ve got to go through 12-18 hours of this, I don’t know if I’m going to make it!"
Her eyes teared. I knew the pain of the contractions were bad. Rosemary was NOT a crier. I am, but she's not. She, like me, had high pain tolerance. It was troubling if she was complaining. I could only imagine how bad and intense the pain must be.
"What did the nurse say?"
She shook her head. "Nothing yet."
"Where’s your doctor?"
"He’s on his way."
Just then, a contraction hit. She groaned. I squeezed her hand, as we breathed through it: "he*he*he-----whoooooooooooooooooo" blows. I could tell by the way she squeezed my hand exactly how bad the pain was. NOT good.
I reached for the overnight back and unzipped the pocket pulling out the booklet we had gotten in Lamaze class. Quickly, I thumbed through it, trying to locate the place we were at within the labor process.
"How long have you been in labor?" I asked. We’d not discussed it when they’d called to tell me to get to the hospital.
It was pushing 4 a.m.
She closed her eyes trying to find some place of physical comfort, given her circumstance.
She shook her head again. "I don’t know....a few hours."
Her situation didn’t sound like anything we’d been told about in class with regard to the first stages of labor - how it would go or what could be expected. It wasn’t suppose to be this hard this early on.
I must have looked like an idiot, rapidly turning the pages, trying to find some clue as to what else might be going on? I had paid attention in that class! I had paid attention like my life depended on it. Still, I had no clue what we were dealing with?
Just then, a nurse past by, and I flagged her down. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t Rosemary’s nurse. I didn’t know who her nurse was at that point. All I knew was we needed a nurse, and for me, ANY nurse would do.
"Excuse me," I said, reminding myself to stay calm. "She’s in a LOT of pain here, and I’m not really sure what’s going on? This doesn’t seem like the first stages of labor to me."
"Let me get your nurse."
"Thank you," I replied, feeling my frustration level begin to rise.
While we waited, I went to get a cold washcloth.
Lew got back with ice chips about the time that her nurse arrived.
I introduced myself as Rosemary’s birth coach and asked. "Can you tell us what’s going on? She’s in a LOT of pain, and as I told the other nurse, I don’t recall mention of it being this taxing, this early on."
The nurse looked at Rosemary, then me. "You're in rapid, hard labor, Honey!" she said.
Rosemary was focused on her breathing.
My eyes squinched together. "What exactly does that mean?" I didn’t recall anything about that in the book. If it there was, I missed it, and I read that book cover to cover three or four times.
"Her labor is coming hard and fast," the nurse explained. "She’s in the last stages of it."
I glanced over at Rosemary. I don’t think she was processing it.
My brows came together. "What?" I replied. "Last stages?" I asked, not sure I was understanding. "You mean 'pushing' last stages? Are you saying she’s gone from A-Z in little more than two hours?"
The nurse nodded. "She’s almost fully effaced. Yes. She'll be ready to push soon. The doctor should be here any minute, and we'll move her over to the delivery room."
My eyes widened. It was all happening too fast. I tried to get my bearings.
"How’s the pain?" the nurse asked Rosemary. "Do you want an epidural? If you do, we’ll have to give it to you soon."
Rosemary had planned for an all-natural birth. Sometimes, it’s good to be open to other alternatives.
"Can I talk to them?"
The nurse nodded. "I’ll check back in a few minutes."
Just as she left, another contraction hit. Again, we did our panting and releasing breaths.
"What do you want to do?" I asked quickly, before another contraction hit.
"God!" she cried. "I don’t know! I wanted to do this on my own."
Her eyes locked on mine.
"Honey!" I tried to be encouraging and supportive. "Don’t try and be a heroine here! If it’s bad, take the shot! Who cares if you don’t do it 100% all natural? My gosh, you’ve done most of it naturally! Just do what’s best for you at this point!"
Lewie nodded.
She bit her lip, thinking just as another contraction hit. Again, we panted and blew.
When it was over, she nodded that she wanted the shot.
"Lew," I said. "Would you go find the nurse and tell her that she wants the shot?"
He nodded, not minding the errand. This was, after all, the reason I was called in to be the birth coach. I could handle pressure - didn't buckle under the weight of it.
I remember giving Rosemary an ice chip and taking the cloth and wiping her forehead.
"What do you need?" I asked her.
Rosemary was the kind of person who didn’t like a lot of people hovering around her.
"Just sit with me," she said. She was also not one who liked people fussing over her, especially if she was in rapid, hard labor.
I smiled. "I’m not going anywhere!" I assured. "I’m in for the duration. You just tell me what you need when you need it!"
She closed her eyes and nodded, as a momentary peaceful expression came to her face. She was happy to hear it. It was the best gift I could give to her.
We went through one more contraction before the nurse arrived with the epidural.
Lewie looked like he might pass out.
"I need a soda," he said, needing a reason to excuse himself again. "You want one?" The sight of the needle had made him slightly queasy.
I shook my head, wishing I could go with him, because the sight of the needle had made me a little queasy too. I was the birth coach, however. It was my job to stay and face the music with her no matter what it might be.
"Babe," he called to Rosemary. "I’ll be back in a minute."
She didn’t seem to notice – to hear him. As each contraction became more intense, her focus was solely on riding the waves through it.
I think I looked to Rosemary the way Lewie had looked to me. It was my ashen face she saw, not the needle.
"What’s wrong?" she asked.
I shook my head. "Nothing," I gulped, not wanting to upset her, and I certainly didn't want to frighten her. I’d never seen a needle that large though, and I couldn’t imagine it being injected into her!
"Just a little warm in here," I told her. "That’s all." What I really wanted to say was: "Don't do it! She's getting ready to stick something into you that would make Mr. Ed wave a white flag of surrender!"
The nurse moved quickly, telling Rosemary what she was doing as she did it.
"Don’t move!" she said, before she got ready to inject the numbing agent.
I think I looked at the nurse in utter disbelief! How in the world could you expect someone not to move, let alone tell them to stay still, when you're about to stick something like that into them?
Still, it wasn't my place to red-light a decision that Rosemary had made. It was, after all, her pain level not mine that needed relief.
"It’ll only sting for a minute!" the nurse told her.
I prayed it would only sting for a second, beyond that, I wasn’t saying a word about it, because I wasn't going to be a "Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!", although I think I rolled my eyes when she said it, which Rosemary had obviously not seen.
"Focus on your friend," the nurse suggested.
I wanted to shout, "NO! Don’t focus on me! I want to throw up because of the big @$$ needle she's getting ready to stick into your backside! Whatever you do right now, DON'T look at me!" I did not, however, say that. I used all my acting skills from high-school drama class to project a person who was both calm and collected – who could be focused upon.
As the needle went in, Rosemary mouthed the word "$#*%"
I nodded understanding, that was my sentiment too upon seeing it. I couldn't imagine feeling it. [Although I have since come to know the pain of said type injections, and "$#*%" is the appropriate sentiment for it.]
I tried to be comforting. "Not much more," I told her and prayed it was so. "You're doing great!"
Thank God, it worked rather quickly, and I didn’t have to say much more on that topic.
No more had she been given the injection then her doctor walked in.
I wanted to say, "where in hell have you been?" but I remembered my acting skills from high-school drama class and remained calm.
"Boy! It’s good to see you!" I exclaimed, instead.
He said good morning to me, as he moved to Rosemary and spoke to her briefly. He picked up her chart and read it. "So," he said rather emotionless. "Are you ready to have a baby?"
Rosemary is known for a sarcastic kind of humor. I saw the look in her eyes when he asked her that stupid question. "REALLY?" was the look she gave him over that ridiculous question. "Are you seriously asking me that?" came the follow-up glare.
I couldn’t help but remember, in that moment, a skit that I'd once seen that Carol Burnett did which involved a guy asking a stupid question regarding pregnancy, and her pulling said guy’s bottom lip up over his head....or something to that effect, with a sarcastic look of "any more questions?"
Exactly!
Being the southern, diplomatic one, I interjected quickly. "I think we’re all ready for this baby to hurry up and get here!"
He patted her leg. "I’ll see you in the delivery room in a few minutes."
Lewie seemed to have a built-in radar regarding when to step outside and when to come back in, because he got back to the room just as we were getting ready to go to the delivery room. He wanted to be in there, but he couldn’t commit to being the calm, cool-as-a-cucumber presence that Rosemary would need.
Roles. It’s good when you know them and understand your ability or not to fulfill them. He was a little squeamish about the sights that would be seen in that room, and he knew himself well enough to know that he might not be the best choice to be the support for her in that moment. One thing I’m good at being is a sidekick.
We went to the delivery room and each took our places. I gotta tell ya, if the breathing exercises sounded tedious and exhausting, it didn’t compare to the task of pushing. Pushing was a whole other level of tedious and exhausting.
I watched my friend push until I thought her head might explode, and when she lay back against the upright portion of the bed, too exhausted to continue, it was my job to cajole her into pushing some more.
I wasn’t a cheerleader in high-school. I was on the pep-squad, which is akin to being a cheerleader, without having to wearing the little shorty-skirt. In other words, I knew how to cheer someone on. That’s just what I did, whether Rosemary was in the mood for it or not. She was not! She was tired of breathing! She was tired of pushing! She was tired of labor! Plain and simple, she was tired! Still, it was my job to make her go outside of those bounds of normal reserve and encourage her to find the special reserve we all have within us to do things we don't believe we have the stamina or wearwithall to continue doing.
"Come on, Rose! I've seen your Herculean strength! You've got to push just a little more." I tried to pump her up with a tone of pure belief that she could do this, until they told her she didn’t have to do it anymore, not the other way around. "You can do! You can do it! I KNOW you can!"
And, we pushed some more.
I’ll never forget seeing that child’s head crown.
"Oh, my God!" I gasped. It took my breath away. "Look!"
And, she and Lewie both glanced up in the overhead mirror so they could see what I was seeing.
"Just a couple more good pushes," the doctor said.
I felt the tears come.
I looked into her eyes. "Come on! Just a little more! You can do this!" I nodded my belief in her. "I know you can!"
"I’m tired!" she said in a tone of pure exhaustion. She wasn't certain at this point if she had anymore energy let in her to push anymore.
I nodded. "I know!" I told her. "I know you are, but one more big push....one more really good one. That's all, and he’ll be here!"
Then, she did something that I’ve never forgotten and never will as long as I live. She held her hand out for me to take, and when I gave it to her, she locked her fingers around mine. My other arm wrapped around her shoulders, helping her to rise up one last time and hold her steady for that final, momentous push.
She squeezed my hand so tightly, that I thought it might break, but I didn’t care. It got that push out of her.
"That’s it, Rose!" I said, excitedly. "That's IT! You’re doing great!"
With that, Dakota made his entrance into the world.
"Oh, my God, Rosemary!" I squealed. "Look at that! Here he comes!"
And, we laughed and cried as we pushed that baby into the world.
They pulled Dakota out and laid him on her stomach as we all kept laughing and crying. The nurse cleaned him off a bit before the doctor handed Lewie the scissors to cut the umbilical cord.
Lewie rapidly shook his head that he wanted none of that.
The doctor seemed to understand.
Rosemary stopped the doctor, "Let Jhill do it!"
The doctor looked at me and I nodded absolutely to let me do it! For me, being part of a miracle wasn’t an opportunity that I was going to pass up. I took the scissors and watched where the doctor directed that I cut. Before I did so, I looked back to Rosemary. She nodded, and I proudly cut the cord, while the doctor and nurse both clamped the severed places of the cord between mother and baby.
I remember clutching my chest. My heart was racing a mile a minute. I remember glancing up at the wall clock. It read 6:11 am. I bent down and the three of us had a group hug with the baby between us all.
"Wow!" I exclaimed. "My God! That was something!"
The nurse took the baby for a minute to clean him up.
The three of us chattered and laughed as we waited for him to be given back. It was a high rush that we all felt....so, so high. It's a high that few experiences in life take you to, but when they do....Boy, is it a great feeling!
"How are you feeling?"
"Good," she said. "Relieved it’s over with and tired....all in that order."
"I hear you, Sister!" I replied.
Rosemary took hold of my hand again. "You’ll never know how much I appreciate your being here."
I teared up again and nodded. "Oh," I sighed. "I think I do. You'll never know how much it meant to me that you asked me to share this experience with you."
She nodded and softly replied. "Oh, I think I do..."
Then, the nurse gave the baby back to Rosemary who held him for a moment and cooed over him then gave him to Lewie and finally, Lewie passed him over to me.
I remember kissing his little forehead that had the white and blue baby hat on his head.
"Welcome to the world, little Man!" I whispered. "We’re so happy to finally have you here! Gosh, we've waited a long time to see you!" I told him, kissing his cheek. "There’s a lot of love in this room for you. And, I hope you know how much your Aunt Jhill loves you!"
Rosemary watched me holding and loving on her son. I watched her watching me. It was a moment. It was an incredible moment.
I handed the baby back to her. "Listen," I said, wiping at my eyes. "I’m going to let you guys have some family bonding time," I told her. "I’m going to stop by work and give them the good news before I head home to get a few winks of sleep." I told her. "Do you need me to do anything else right now?"
She shook her head. "No, Honey!" she replied. "You go get some rest."
"You get some rest too!" I encouraged. "Call me about noon, and I’ll bring some food over."
"Sounds good," she said. Then, I kissed them all goodbye and did what I said I was going to do before I got home about 9:30 a.m., which was stop by work and deliver the good news of healthy baby and exhausted mother having come through the experience with flying colors; I had a great talk with my mother about the entire experience after I got home, then I went off to bed for a few hours of much needed rest.
True to form, I was up around 1, took a shower and head backed over to the hospital. I took soup and sandwiches over, and we ate and visited for a while as the baby lay in her arms.
There is no more beautiful sight in all the world than seeing a mother holding her baby in her arms, looking so peacefully content.
"How are you feeling?"
She smiled. "I feel good," she said. "A little tired, but look at him!" she beamed with pride. "Isn’t he beautiful?"
"He is beautiful, Rosemary!"
"I can’t believe how much I already love him!"
"I can!" I replied.
"It's a little overwhelming."
"That’s normal."
She looked at me. "You don’t seem too concerned."
"Of YOU mothering this baby?" I giggled as I said it. "Not a concern in the world."
I glanced over to the recliner where Lewie was asleep.
I looked back at Rosemary. "You’ll do fine!"
She let me hold the baby one final time before I left for the day. As I held him and talked softly to him and rubbed my fingers along his, they tightly gripped around my finger. My jaw dropped when Dakota did that. "Look! Did you see that?"
Rosemary said. "You’re going to be a great mother yourself, one day, JhillyBean!"
I smiled. It made me feel good. I liked hearing that someone other than my mother thought that about me.
"In the meantime, I’ve got this precious baby right here to love all over," and I smothered him with kisses. He didn’t stir. He knew his Aunt Jhill’s voice. That was the point of all those months talking to her stomach....so that he would know me when he came out into the world, and my voice wouldn’t startle him in any way, shape or form.
"When are they releasing you?" I asked.
She sighed. "I think tomorrow about two."
I nodded. "I’ll loop by your place at lunchtime tomorrow and make sure you’re fridge is stocked and things are picked up."
"You’re a good friend," she replied.
I winked at her. "It’s one of the things I know how to do best," I replied.
"Will we see you tomorrow?"
"Of course you will!" I told her. "I’ll drop by for a few minutes after work and make sure you're both settled."
She nodded, seeming to be relieved by that. I bent over and kissed her cheek. "You get some rest." I told her. "You’re going to need it."
Again, she nodded. "I know."
"Call me if you need me," I told her. "I can be back over here in 15 minutes."
"Thanks."
"No thanks needed. It’s been my pleasure!"
When I reached the door, she said, "it was a good day, huh?"
I turned back and smiled. "Oh Rose!" I sighed. "The best! Today was the best day! I danced on a cloud today. I didn’t even know that was possible!"
She seemed to understand.
"Thanks for letting me..."
She cut me off not letting me finish the thought. "There’s no one else who I’d want to do it."
"I love you guys!" I said. "I’ll see you later."
She nodded. "We love you more...."
Sometimes, even when you know it isn’t true, it’s best to let a compliment lay out there uninterrupted - having its moment.
I didn’t debate the point. I let her tell me that they loved me more.
What I remember now when I think back on that day is the glorious experience I shared with a dear girlfriend, when she reached for my hand, and I helped her push her son into the world.....
It doesn’t get much better than that: helping a little soul come forth....dancing on a cloud and celebrating the part you played in helping to bring someone into their life. It truly is a miracle of profound proportions! I have never forgotten the perfect symmetry and beauty of that one singular moment of pure joy, when two women pushed, cajoled and loved a little boy into this world. As long as I live, I will never forget the feeling of that most profound miracle and precious gift. Today, Dakota turned 19, and it seems like only yesterday that he blazed his trail of glory to this place...
http://youtu.be/1Nk-yiwJJ04 I'll Play For You~Seals & Crofts
http://youtu.be/BEbJduR6640 Sing Your Song~Barbra Streisand
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