An Apple A Day ~ NOT!

"The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians for the body and physicians for the soul, although the two cannot be separated." ~Plato

Do you like your doctor? I love mine! I never thought I could be as blessed as I was in Maryland with regard to doctors, but I was wrong. Man, if you’ve got a good doctor he/she is worth all the gold in Fort Knox!
When I was a kid, I use to hate going to the doctor. You wouldn’t know that from my frequent visits. I was a fairly sickly child. Not 24-7 sickly, but chronic stuff, and enough that the office staff all knew me by name. It wasn’t a Cheers moment where as soon as I walked in the door, everyone called out jovially, "Jhill" as they did for Norm, then slid a box of apple juice in my direction, but they knew my name.
The only benefit to being sick as a kid was not having to go to school. I wasn’t crazy about school either but you wouldn’t know that by looking at me, because I always had a book in my hand and was very studious. Go figure! The drawback of being sick and getting to miss school, was that come the end of the school day, you didn’t get to go out and play with friends after they got home. It was my first real lesson with regard to the concept "nothing in life is free". There is always a cost to an action – a give and take, so to speak. If you take the day off from school because you don’t feel well, then you’ve got to give up play time later with friends. My parents were sticklers on that point too! It was a weeding out tactic: finding out just how sick you really were. If you were willing to give up play time, they knew you were sick – well that, and running a fever or other various and sundry activities that no one, except your doctor, wants to hear about!
It was when I lived in Maryland that I found doctors who I really liked, felt comfortable sharing all of my unmentionables with and knew my medical well-being was in good hands. One of the anxieties I had in moving away from Maryland several years ago was that I was going to be leaving behind two doctors who I had grown to care about and trust, because they were worth their weight, or Fort Knox’s, in gold. It’s a rare thing!
In this day of primary cares, co-pays and the typical visit that last about 15 minutes, [unless you’re having a physical] it’s a rare thing, indeed, to find a doctor who isn’t motivated only with making money and seeing how many patients they can squeeze into an hour. I’ve seen my share of those kind of doctors. One even had a clock in each examination room so that he wouldn’t go over the allotted PCP time constraints! No, I’m not kidding! I draw the line at being mid-way through what’s ailing me only to have my doctor cut me off and say, "Make an appointment next week, and we’ll finish discussing this." To which, I stare blankly as if someone had just thrown ice-water in my face, sputtering. "But...." I never went back to him.
So, I was happier than a pig in mud [another southern colloquialism] when I lived in Maryland and had not only a great PCP but OB-GYN. They took care of me regarding minor things and the life threatening and altering things too: two years of back-to-back pneumonia, and the two times when I miscarried my babies, come quickly to mind when I think of them. I wanted to pack them up and bring them to Virginia with me, because I had an uneasy and uncertain feel about leaving them behind. I had a history with them, and I knew they were a special class of doctor. I was also disabled at that point, when we packed up and moved away from Maryland, and I was terrified that I wouldn’t find anyone who knew me and my history so well that they could treat me with eyes blindfolded and one hand tied behind their back.
Have you ever heard the saying, When one door closes, another one opens? Well, that’s what happened when we moved to Virginia. The door here opened wide for me! It wasn’t one of those single, solid wooden doors either but more along the lines of a double French door with lots of window panes shining a brilliant ray of light in my direction that led straight to Dr. Pam. Sometimes, God in the tenderest of mercies gives us a two-fer blessing. What’s a two-fer blessing you might ask? I’m glad you did! A two-fer blessing is one that packs a one-two punch of good fortune. You see, Dr. Pam is my ONLY doctor. She handles EVERYTHING for me! She’s my primary care as well as handler of the "various and sundry" female issues. She’s right there to make sure that the hitch to my get-a-long is as well-maintained and in working order and that my get-a-long itself is as functioning and operable as it can be in its current, less than ideal, state.
If I’m having a "Tin Man" day; she’s always right there with the oil can to spritz the "mineral" into all my cricky and achey joints – loosens me up for the time being, then sends me on my way. She’s a psychoanalyst of sorts; My personal trainer; or if I need a friendly ear, she’s always got one of those available too, no matter what. She’s like Smith & Barney in that when I talk, she listens– truly listens. She knows me, my history, my family and the stuff they’re dealing with. When I see her, she often asks me about one of them and something she knows is going on with them. [She’s not reading her notes when she does this, either]. She is a miracle worker as far as this old girl is concerned, and I’m not talking about pumping well-water from a cast iron gadget, then spelling the word, W*A*T*E*R*, into my palm. I’m talking about taking a tired, aching, breaking down, middle-age-old body and making it feel better and not hurt as much as it could hurt on a daily basis. I’m talking about making me believe that I’m still as valuable as I was five years ago, before life permanently altered, but altering the perception of where that value is and not the value itself. It’s a gift. I tell you, she’s a miracle worker!
I actually look forward to when I go in to see her, because I know I’m not just going to be poked or prodded. We talk about many things that relate not solely to physical well-being but mind, body, spirit well being as well. She doesn’t just view me as a patient. She sees me as a human being. She’s not just concerned with those things that effect my life and make it better but also with those things around me, i.e. my husband, and family dynamics and how it all works together, that make my life be as good and fulfilling as it can be.
I’m sure the fact that she’s a mother and is used to juggling so many things in the air at one time is part of what makes her such an extraordinary doctor! She reminds me of that breakdown sheet I saw years ago regarding stay-at-home-moms. Have you ever seen it? It shows you what it would cost if you had to pay a woman for each thing she does in the home: cook, housekeeper, accountant, laundry and/or ironing services, personal shopper, meal planner, babysitter, driver....the list goes on and on. I think it averaged out that if a woman was paid individually for all the different tasks she performs in any given day, she’d be in the millionaires club! That’s the way I feel about Dr. Pam. She’s that homemaker-mother kind of doctor because she does everything: regular exams, female exams, psychiatric duties, priestess duties [if a confession is in order] blood-work, this exam, that one and other lab work, as needed. One thing I appreciate about Dr. Pam is that she doesn’t wrestler you through your time with her, like herding a pack of cattle. If you need a minute longer, she’ll give you that minute because that’s just the way she is. And, man, she’ll go to bat for you like nobody’s business! Think David and Goliath, with her being David and Goliath being the insurance company! In this day and age, it’s a comfort to know your doctor is such an advocate on your behalf! Another rare and golden commodity in the climate we know as health-care.
I could sing the praises of Dr. Pam all day, but I don’t need to do that. She’s exceptional on her own merits, not just because I say so, though I do. One of the greatest reliefs I’ve found in being her patient is that we’re close in age [she’s younger]. My point is, it’s not like she’s 20 years older than me or vice versa. I bring this up because I had a nightmare once that she moved away. I told her about it the next time I saw her, recalling, with a shudder, the hives I’d woken up with, and she laughed, amused, as she assured me she’d be here for a good long time. She wasn’t planning, anytime soon, to go anywhere else. It was a relief to know it, because I really don’t want to have to move again! [I’m quite certain I’m not her only patient who would be willing to pack up and follow her if she decides a change of scenery is in order!] So, the good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, Dr. Pam and I will grow old together, not like my husband and I will, but in its own equally significant way nonetheless.
I sing the praises of Dr. Pam today because we all need to have our praises sung every once in a while to know that we are truly appreciated! I truly appreciate her! If you’ve enjoyed my blog at all, she’s the one, along with my husband, who has vigorously pushed for me to do it. So, she gets a "shout out-thank you" for it. She knows I was a writer in my past life, and she knows it was important to me. She also knows that I’ve had some acceptance/struggle-issues as my disability advances and my health issues mount and some decline. She keeps me positive about all of that, while understanding the frustration that I feel over it all. I can’t do the things I use to do, and I told her once I feel like I’m contributing nothing to society any longer except taking up a big portion of space. She shot that thought down rather quickly, but I think she understood how hard it is being a 40-something year old woman who has serious physical limitations, and daily medial issues, at this point in my life as a part of my daily life.
She suggested this blog. It was her attempt to make me "snap out of it". Unlike Cher in Moonstruck, Dr. Pam didn’t smack my face, or anything, but she did valiantly cajole me out of my funk. She offered a suggestion of something that I could do at night, when/if I couldn’t sleep or during the day when I can’t move around very well, because my laptop sits just where it says, i.e. in my lap. It doesn’t require that I get up and dressed and attempt to get myself somewhere, which can be difficult for me to do most days. I can do it right where I sit or lay! I can type til my heart’s content or only 20 minutes, if that’s all that I can do. My college degree doesn’t have to stay in a box upstairs and gather dust. I can still use it. My body may not cooperate with me on a daily basis but my mind is still in tact. She encouraged me to use it! She gave me back something that’s been lacking in my spirit for about five years: validation. If I could give her all the gold in Fort Knox, it still wouldn’t be adequate payment for that gift alone. So, I’m giving her the only gold, so to speak, that I have: my words. It’s not Fort Knox, but, hopefully, she’ll see the value in them, and it will suffice.
I’ve begun to re-institute San ban Braneach’s Simple Abundance idea of writing down 5 things a day that I’m most grateful for. I was thinking about Dr. Pam today, because I’m going to see her tomorrow. So, I wrote her down on my list. [I’m sure she gets it a lot!] Still, it seems I should write something grand behind her name given that I consider her such a blessing in my life and one of the things I am most grateful for! But, all I can come up with is that she’s worth her weight in gold – certainly worth all the gold in Fort Knox....she’s extraordinarily exceptional as far as doctors go!
When I was a child, we use to sing a nursery rhyme: "an apple a day, keeps the doctor away!" And, I use to chant that louder than anyone. Now, not so much. I’ve not thought that sentiment in a long, long time and as much as I love apples, I don’t eat them every day for just that reason. Why tempt fate? If I had my choice of seeing my doctor on any given day, or not seeing her, I choose seeing her every time, hands down.
I would classify her in the way of Dr. Maya Angelou: she’s a Phenomenal Woman! She’s a wonderful doctor who takes good care of me. As my husband is my life partner, Dr. Pam makes me feel that I have a true healthcare partner. She is the Annie Sullivan to my Helen Keller, because at times, with the burden of the many medical issues I wrestle with on a given day, she’s right there, pumping the water onto my palm and spelling it all out for me as many times as I need her to, so that I can continue to feel comfortable and safe inside of my skin. She wears the magician’s hat for whatever doctor I need her to be on that particular day, when I see her. There are blessings in life, and then there are Godsends. I think the same thing that applies to having good health also applies to having a good doctor. If you don’t have it, you don’t have anything! Fortunately, for me.....I have a Godsend!

Written by Jhill Perran
June 21, 2011