"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." ~Harriet Beecher Stowe
How many of you out there recall the quote: Today is the first day of the rest of your life, start it right with Total? [Am I dating myself?]
Anyway, with that in mind, I started back on my "Livid" today, only I started it with Kashi not Total. I believe, given that minor adjustment, it can still be the first day of the rest of my life! For those of you who don’t know weight-loss lingo, Livid is the term that Richard Simmons coined, because he didn’t like the word "diet". Yes. I agree with that thought! Diet should be one of those unacceptable, 4-letter words.
Over the years, I’ve tried them all, – those profane diets – the ones that never really had my best interests at heart, because the companies involved only wanted my money. They never worked for me. The reason being because I don’t liked to be used, and that’s what they did: they used me for profit. They aren’t totally at fault. I fell for their sell, hook, line and sinker. I’ve gotten smarter since then. [I like to think anyway]
I have had success with two programs over the years: Richard Simmons and Weight Watchers. I’ve kinda incorporated them together in my mind because they’re similar in approach and philosophy, and you don’t have to buy gimmicky food or pills. You have real food not packaged stuff; you eat from all the food groups, not just proteins or vegetables; and, you can have pizza or cake, you just have to account for it, and you have to realize you can’t have those things everyday. [There’s ALWAYS a catch, isn’t there?] However, both of these plans work, and my failure to maintain continuity has been because of my inconsistency of steadfast due diligence not the soundness of either program.
So, today, I began Dealing my Points! It’s not as easy as it sounds! First of all, I have to calculate how many points make up a specific food. This, however, allows me to hone my math skills [something that continues to be as needed as maintaining my Livid]. I also deal out, in the form of writing down, how many points I’m allowed to have each day. This involves hand-wrist movement, or as I like to think of it: exercise. It’s a win-win combination.
Richard is BIG on the "move to lose" philosophy. It’s not just any movement either! Trust me, I’ve checked. Sitting in my chair and sweeping my eyes back and forth across the room doesn’t count. If it did, I’d have lost 80 pounds by now! My problem is that I don’t move so good anymore! I’m disabled now, you see. My body doesn’t always do what my mind wants it to. It’s a problem - a very frustrating one! Trust me, there have been many battles between these two, with me stuck in the middle as a sort of biased mediator, because I agree with my mind. Trouble is, I live in my body. So, what are ya gonna do? It’s like a tug of war. Wait! Is that considered exercise? ...My luck, probably not! [Finger snap followed by a verbal, "Drats!"]
Back to the thinking board! The tricky thing for me is that when I try to accommodate my mind, my body makes me pay for it. I’m not talking about the typical pay back for working out the ole bod, either. I’m talking "take to your bed" payback. When I give into my body and don’t push it the way my mind would like, I feel the self-judgment begin to set in. Nobody is ever happy with this situation, least of all ME – the one in the middle! I’ve got three physical activities I can do: swim [no impact to the back], but who wants to get into a bathing suit at my size and go out in public? More power to Big Beautiful Women who don’t mind that. For me personally, it’s a horror movie just waiting to be seen....it’s not going to happen, unless I go to another town where the probability of running into someone I know is slim to none. See how slim just had to work its way into the conversation? Warning: Subliminal thoughts on the loose.
Then, there’s walking, and I do that - especially with two puppies. I enjoy walking too. The trouble is that I can’t walk more than 15 minutes at a pop before my back begins to spasm. The other problem is that I can’t walk a consistent 15 minutes at a time with two puppies in tow. They have a form of ADD for dogs: in a nutshell, they can’t walk for 15 minutes without stopping to sniff something, starting again, stopping to roll around on the grass, starting again, stopping to do their business, starting again, stopping to rudely bark at someone, resulting in being taken back home.
So, that leaves the recumbent bike that I got for Christmas. Basically, this is a tricycle for adults. It’s three wheels, with hand brakes. It rides low to the ground and has a back support, so that I can sit straight as I push the pedal round and round, in an effort to, as Richard says, "Move to Lose". The bike is great! I love it! It works for all involved parties because we also bought a small trailer that attaches to the back. Normal people would put a child in the trailer, but I stick my puppies in it for a tag-a-long, so they don’t tear the house apart because I would dare consider going outside and not taking them with me. We did this today – the bike ride. I was huffin’ and a puffin’ like there was no tomorrow. All I can say is that if there was an opening for an acting role in a certain children’s story that needed a wolf to blow down stuff, I’d have won the part hands down based solely on my stellar yet unsolicited performance of this morning.
"Take your time, Sweetie!" my husband called in a supportive tone from his neighboring 10-speed. "It’s going to take a little time to get back into shape....that’s all..."
"At this rate," I pant back. "I’ll be 50 before that happens!"
He laughs.
I’m nothing if not good for comical relief.
I am, however, going to do it this time! I’m determined to succeed for good. My goal: just to feel better. It’s not so much about losing weight anymore, though I’ll most definitely take that as a bonus, should it happen. At this point, for me, it’s more about my small-in-height and round-in-frame body simply becoming stronger in the hope that it doesn’t ache all the time. That’s what my focus is going to be, because the weight is just an overwhelming proposition– even taking it in stages. It looms large like the summit of an insurmountable mountain. I refuse, however, to continue looking at it that way. There will be no failure set-up for me this go round. It’s all about feeling better physically, so that’s how I’m going to approach it, as I embark on my umpteenth-hundred time at this "Livid" concept, with a WW shooter added in for good measure. I need to come up with a motto though. "Partially move to partially feel better" doesn’t work for me.
I need to think like the little engine that could, as I mentally prepare myself for this challenge. I am, after all, the Rocky Balboa of Livid training! I need something empowering yet gently affirming as my battle cry...
I know! I’ve got it! How about: "I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!" Followed up with a Stuart Smalley-esque cool down in front of my mirror: "You don’t need the numbers on the scale to necessarily go down. You just need to have them NOT go haywire when you step on it! Just be the BEST Jhill that you can be! You’re good enough! You’re smart enough! And, doggone it! People like me...." That’s it! This will be my mantra! It sounds encouraging, supportive AND empowering! I think I’ve just found the secret to my success!
Salad at one. Who’s in?
Written by Jhill Perran
July 11, 2011
http://youtu.be/6ldAQ6Rh5ZI [Stuart Smalley Daily Affirmations/SNL]
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